Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction....

...or when its for money... or as a favor... or wedding present.... or on a dare... or just for shits and giggles! It is this wise and solemn philosophy that guides Same Night’s most deadly reviewer.

        You see, about the time that SNMR gave the Da Vinci Code two out of five shots, the death threats came rolling in from all those people who felt the story was the greatest supernatural thriller of all time (and who coincidently had never read any fiction before ever!)

The boys felt it was time to get some added protection thrown into the mix, so the hunt for the perfect personal bodyguard/assassin was on. SNMR hit up all the places one would normally go to find the best merchants of death. Organized crime syndicates. The Black Market. Girl Scout Troop 213. None of them offered blood cold enough to sate the reviewers needs (after all they were going up against religious zelots for crying out loud). Then one night while waiting for the L train… and lets face it… that’s all you’ll ever do when it comes to the L train… Matt and Steve were accosted by a gang of Dan Brown loving street toughs, hell bent on beating a better review out of our heroes. Sure, Steve and Matt can hold there own in a fight but these punks had conviction, drive, and really big fucking knives.

With SVP macking it with some ladies that evening and the Couch out of town, all options for backup were out of reach. Once again Matt and Steve were ready to accept the sweet abyss of inexistence knowing they died for what they believed in (and they believed that false Christian-based literature had been done better at least 50 times over…”Preacher” anybody?).

All of the sudden from out of know where a swirling black void of vengeance manifested between SNMR and the street toughs. Within mere seconds, not only had this shadow-melding vigilante put a halt to the street toughs onslaught, but he had made each and every one of them not only “bite the curb”, but also “bite the third rail”.

The three men talked for a while after the battle, one thing lead to another, and after finding out that his long time rival in ass-gettting, The Couch, was also in their employ, Bones agreed to become SNMRs muscle.

Side note: Matt, in his Nick Fury-esque paranoia has struck a secret deal with Bones making him completely loyal to the louder, more obnoxious member of SNMR. The details of this dark pact are shrouded in obscurity, wrapped in enigma, and sealed in anonymity. But one this is for certain. It most likely involves jagermeister.

Side Side Note: Don’t tell Steve.