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STOP!!! You can’t decide what movies look like there going to be good all by your self. Never be under the delusion that you can make your own decisions. That would be like... free will or something! And we can’t have that. So sit back my little followers, and let us separate the dreadful from the divine.
Recapping the most Silent of Hills, Matt travels through the Light, Dark, and Negative worlds in order to tell you if this movie lives up to gamers expectations...
(Quality is low, I realize this... Do you wanna pay for my web-space?)
The first “Same Night Movie Review” before we even knew what the hell “Same Night Movie Reviews” were! Check out the fuss that started it all:
(Yes... I know the quality sucks...)
In an attempt to get the word out on MI3, Matt tears through Times Square to deliver the review that Tom Cruise and The churcH oF scientologY don’t want you to see. Will he compete his review in time before the explosive in his brain detonates? Or will he fail to get back to Brooklyn to take the shots this movie deserved? This review will self-destruct... well never... cause that would be impossible. Or would it?
At long last, this review is finally up and running. Sure its a big download (40mb worth), but I think you can handle it. Plus its really long. But I know you like it that way you dirty little minx. You might want to pop up a bag-o-corn for this ones kids, cause with a runtime of 21 minutes, it is defiantly a commitment your getting into here.
I now pronounce you man/woman and movie review.
You may watch the Quicktime!!!
...when its done downloading
So after every technical difficulty known to man (including my camera breaking so this might be the last review for a while...), the X3 review is finally up!!! And when a flick this big comes along, you never know who will “drop” by to throw in their two cents ;)
P.S. Please enjoy the Trailer for our review of
“Snakes On A Plane” Review before you watch.
After an extended hiatus, team SNMR get off their asses and do what they do best... Yammer! This 16 minutes review of the ultimate summer swashbuckler will have you on the edge of your computer chairs. Which undoubtedly are less comfy then my own. Hell, I payed 200 bucks for this thing!
Microfibers are the only way to fly. So if you think pirates are as gay as this blurb, watch this, and think again!
P.S. Cliffhangers are delicious...
Just keep swimming... Just keep swimming... Swimming swimming... wait a second... this movie had nothing to do with Ellen what-so-ever! Seriously, ever since Finding Nemo all I think of whenever someone says “Lady In The Water” is that god damn lesbian fish! Whatever... I don’t even know what this is. Just watch the godless thing and
quit yer bitchen’!
This is ‘Snakes on a Plane’, this is not some metaphor for terrorism or how our capitalistic society has taken over the “airplane” of world trade and hijacked our values. No, fuck that, you know exactly what you’re getting when you see this movie and because of that, it endears itself to you more than any movie in recent years. Tired of self righteous “message movies” or “stupid action films taking themselves too seriously”, then see this movie. See it right god damn now.
Your stomach will never be the same after this one kids! In this adrenaline-riddled review, Matt tests his metal against all odds (well... against lack of sleep) and brings you the skinny on the newest action film with our boy J. Stath! While he may not be transporting in this fast paced tour-de-force, he still is doing what he does best! Watch on my wayward sons. There’ll be peace when you are done. Well pieces anyway... probably of vomit... on the floor...
Honor is essential in each of our lives. Sadly we here at SNMR don’t know anything about that. But here is what we do know... how to be an asshole! In this review, not only do we touch on both the great and the grievous point of Jet Li’s last action epic, but we also get to see exactly what Matt thinks of himself. So if your a pretentious fuck like we are, hop aboard the vanity train as it pulls into self love station! Because this review is just for you... and by “just for you” I of course mean for me.
An all-star cast, well, stars…in this review! Matt alone felt he could not sing the praises of this movie enough, so he enlists the help of all the players from previous Same Night episodes to make a triumphant return to the very small screen. SEE as they trade racial hatreds! AMAZE at their lack of proper grammar! FIND the lying bastard among the once so trustworthy crew. TASTE the beerfaroni! That doesn’t make any sense! Oh, it will, trust me…it will.
Bond turns 21. Crack open a bottle, order a hooker and get celebrating! After a brief hiatus, Bond, and SNMR, are back in action and back to the basics. There’s no crazy editing, no racial slurs, no lengthy adventure! It’s just a ton of what you love: Matt ranting! And Steve’s hairy chest. Seriously, you can skin that thing and turn it into a carpet. Yet, it’s strangely hypnotizing, isn’t it? It calls out to you. It longs for your touch. “Touch me” the chest hair calls…and you will answer.
Holy cow! SNMR, after far too long of a vacation, returns from the holidays to find our precious cinema landscape devoid of quality. What will our (your) intrepid heroes do? Hitch a ride on the newest filmic abortion this side of Eragon’: The Hitcher. Steve, in all of his naivete, gets Matt and himself into a whole heap of trouble when he brings home three very attractive women, and one dingy, crazy homeless guy. But is everything as it seems in the guys’ apartment?
It’s been a long time... shouldn’t-a-left you... BUT WE’RE BACK!!! Sure we haven’t done an actual video review in almost a year.. shit it’s actually a year to the DAY!!! Wow...
But now we have returned and have moved to New Jersey... looks like in just the nick of time as well, because if this film has taught us anything, it’s just how fucked NYC would be in the event of ANYTHING. Sure everyone “hearts” New York...
We believe ‘Iron Man’ is not a work of fiction. No, it is a biography chronicling the adventures and exploits of Robert Downey Jr. He’s rich, he’s powerful, he makes weapons in between film roles and yeah, he can fly. Only he doesn’t need a suit, he wills it with the sheer force of his awesomeness. And that’s why RDJ > you. Folks! I implore you: the bandwagon is over there. Hop on, we’ve been waiting for you on the RDJ train for a long time, but you didn’t listen. With a little help from us, his buddies at SNMR, prepare for the thunder! The...tropic thunder, perhaps?
Better late and fabulous than never! Sorry about the time-lapsiness on this one folks. We are two weeks behind on this little cash cow, but that doesn’t mean that this completely fair and unbiased review of the summers biggest estrogen shipment is any less poinent/meaningful to the film community that say, a pair of designer shoes... just like the flick itself! Plus, who doesn’t love 13 costume changes in five and a half minutes.
