Thus endeth this history lesson, because '300' has no intention of telling you how Thermopylae actually happened. Narrated by Dilios (David Wenham), it is more of a campfire tale to rouse soldiers into action than any historical account. It is akin to a master storyteller retelling the wonders of The Odyssey or The Iliad. Liberties are taken. Wild, fantastical elements, such as ogres and vast misshapen hulks, are introduced. Men seem to dance in an orgy of blood and violence. It's a video game, a comic and an epic tale all woven into one.

    Xerxes (Rodrgio Santoro), the self proclaimed god-king of the vast nation of Persia, is on the warpath. In his way is the stubborn nation of Sparta, a military machine that has perfected the art of infantry. The king of Sparta, Leonidas (Gerard Butler, whose star is in ascension now) as stubborn and masculine a man as any, refuses submission to the invading tyrant and sets out with but a paltry 300 men to a narrow pass along the coast to make his stand. Why 300? Because the council of Sparta has forbidden the army to go, and the 300 Leonidas takes with him are but his own personal bodyguard. Tricky!

    What follows is a beautifully crafted eulogy to fallen heroes. Shot on a blue screen (a la, 'Sin City'), director Zack Snyder creates a muted, timeless world of grays and golds that seem to fit right into this ancient age. Some shots are so well crafted and haunting that you are literally ripped from the proceedings and overwhelmed by their majesty. Characters exist in a world of perpetual twilight, the golden sun casting long shadows across the endless ground and the world, as is fitting in this tale, becomes a character in and of itself. It's more dream than reality; a perfect setting befitting of such a story.

    Leonidas is the king we want all our leaders to be. He is noble, wise, a bit headstrong and, most of all, unafraid to go to war with his men. Gerard Butler, too long a second rent Russell Crowe, gives every ounce of energy towards making Leonidas a larger than life character. There is little room for development, he begins and ends in much the same way, but Butler makes damn sure we love every word the man screams. And screams he does! Sparta THIS! And Sparta THAT! Given the commercials, I thought it would grow wearisome, instead it became rather infectious. I imagine most men who see this film and enjoy it will come out wanting to fight something and scream orders at the top of their lungs.

    The movie does not dance around the issue of violence. Too often in sword and sandal epics, we are treated to a few scenes of graphic violence or decapitation, but '300' relishes in it. Battles are slowed down to show each speck of blood or hacked limb. Every spear thrust does not simply end at the body, it goes right through. Heads are taken off in cringe inducing ways and you know what? You will love it. It's the most visceral testament of the ancient world.

    To relieve the constant assault on the senses (and the Persians), the film cuts back to Sparta, where Queen Gorgo (Lena Heady) is mired in her own troubles. She needs the council to send reinforcements, but Theron (Dominic West, in total traitorous, slimy politician mode) will have none of it. The film drags in these parts, but not because they are necessarily dull (certainly less pretty to watch), but because there aren't hordes of men being slaughtered. Heady makes the most of her character and is given the majority of the more laughable lines. She's the spokeswoman for freedom, and I think she was required to say the word at least once a sentence.

    While the writing, definitely the weakest part of the film, isn't Shakespeare, the tenacity a majority of the lines are spoken in give the words an added weight. What they say might be shmaltzy, but it is still affecting. The liberal use of the word 'freedom' and the defense of it feels a bit tacked on, but it is still a message any person can relate to.

    I wonder...what did we compare war movies to before the Iraq war? Or before all the shit in the Middle East? This movie can be read politically yes, but it can be read by anyone. No matter who you are, you will get a surge of pride believing you are the 300 brave souls making a final stand. Some will call the Persians

the USA, while the Spartans are the Iraqis and vice versa. It is all a matter of perspective. I think the film-makers were going for more of a ubiquitous common theme: bravery in the face of overwhelming odds. Anyone can appreciate an act, regardless of politics or nationality.

    Men will love it for the violence and the glory, and I daresay the women will enjoy it for the endless supply of oiled, ripped manly men (cuz no one likes a nice guy). Like a fine wine, '300' gets better the more times you see it. The painting-esque landscapes, while omnipresent, do not deter you from the goings on between the characters. If you're looking for a history lesson, go elsewhere, '300' attempts, and succeeds, in mythologizing a brave group of people to a world where bravery has been obscured. Knowing that the men do not make it out does nothing to diminish their bravery and sacrifice. It in fact, enhances it, because we are welcome voyagers along for their final, doomed ride.There has been no more rousing an experience at the movies this year, and I sincerely doubt there will be.

Mr. Snyder, bring on 'Watchmen'!!