All kidding aside, 'TMNT', despite being rife with

plot-holes and stunning leaps of logic, is a solid action movie that can appeal to both long time Teenage Mutant Turtles fans (anyone born before 1985) and

even those pesky whippersnappers who can't be bothered to know what a real cartoon is about. The characters of the Turtles are more to their comic book roots: these guys are a bit more badass than you or I may remember them. And when it's time to throw down, 'TMNT' effectively trumps every other iteration of the Turtles in any medium. Thank god for CGI on this one.

    In a world of revamps and remakes, the film-makers went a wonderfully fresh route: they just jumped right in. This is not an origin story of our green-skinned heroes, but simply one of their myriad of adventures. I applaud Kevin Munroe for respecting the intelligence of the audience enough to not bother with an overly long explanation of who the Turtles are and somehow splicing in an origin tale with something a little more epic. More astoundingly, Munroe manages to keep it simple enough for even newcomers to understand who everyone is and what is going on. Raphael is the dark, brooding one. Leonardo is the leader. Donatello is the genius and Michelangelo is the wild child. Munroe makes the Turtles out to be simply staples in the world. they exist, they kick ass, so let's move on.

    The story is quite convoluted and straight-line "actiony": 3000 years ago, a great leader and his four generals set out on a path of conquest. They retrieved a device that would grant him immortality. However, once the device had been activated, thirteen monsters were unleashed unto the world and the four generals were turned to stone. The leader was left immortal for another 3000 years, when the stars would align once more. Flash forward, and there's April O'Neil (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), traveling in South America on request of Max Winters (Jean Luc Picard), a collector of antiquities. She's tasked with finding

    That's where the story takes a turn for the not so Turtle. The guys had always been a team, and yes, Ralph and Leo butted heads constantly, but they were together. The gang has been broken up for over a year. Morale is low and the boys are drifting apart, forced to do what they can to keep busy. Don's working in IT Tech Support, Mike works as a "turtle clown" doing birthday parties and Raph...sleeps all day. Leonardo, still unsure of himself, returns home, and not a moment too soon, or else there wouldn't be a movie, now would there be?

    For such a short running length, the film juggles a bit too much for its own good. There's the story of the immortal, his generals, the reformation of the group, April and Casey Jones' (Chris Evans) relationship, even the Foot Clan makes an appearance. To 'TMNT's credit, it manages to successfully take on most of these threads, but each one could be its own film for crying out loud and as a result, none really get the time to breathe and simply exist, it simply gets dragged from plot point to plot point. The film is at war with itself, on the one hand, it needs to be about the Turtles and their struggles with each other, but on the other, it wants to be something epic and the two never quite mesh because beyond the inevitability of the end of the world, the Turtles are not vested in the situation between the immortal and his generals.

    The movie belongs to Leonardo and Raphael, the best leader and best warrior, respectively. Their duality, yin and ying, if you will, is what drives the heart of the story along. We always knew they would come to blows, but in the way it happened, on an NYC roof in a thunderstorm, it's mesmerizing to see them unleash upon one another. Unfortunately, with so much focus on those two, Mike and Don get relegated to the sidelines...again. Each has one moment to shine, but they never rise above their one sentence outlines, which is a shame, because they were always the two most fun characters to follow.

    The CGI from Imagi Animation is top-notch, some of the best I've seen since Final Fantasy: Advent Children. The characters are gorgeously rendered, each fluid movement accentuated and life-like. Even better than the people is the places they occupy. This is a gritty, neo-noir New York that's badly lit and where it constantly rains at night. It's a city crying out for justice, a city with no heroes left anymore. Casey tries to fill the void the Turtles left, but he can only do so much with a baseball bat and a ski-mask.

    It's an easily accessible movie for a long dead franchise. Those who grew up knowing the theme song will find their favorite 80s icons newly revitalized, perhaps with a bit of an edge, but perhaps a little more maturity, and the newly initiated will love it for its dazzling imagery, amazingly choreographed fight scenes and the plucky humor that dots the film from time to time. Over all, it's something for the entire family to enjoy. It's never too violent for its own good, nor does it border on the kiddy. It treats the audience with respect and will have even the most cynical of people chanting "Turtle Power!" as the credits roll.

these stone statues...can we see where this is going yet? While there, she runs into Leonardo, who is training to be a better leader while she explores the jungle.